Being a LADY is high maintenance, period.

Some women may claim they are not high maintenance to avoid sounding snobbish. Being high maintenance doesn’t deem you to be shallow, a snob, or TFG. It is just a part of women normalcy. Unless you are a lady who lives it up caveman status.

Hair, for instance….. From head to toe (literally)! How often do we get our hair did? A trim or haircut is normally every 3 months. For those who get color done need their roots fixed by the 6th week. Then comes the daily fixings. Washing, conditioning, drying, straightening, curling, braiding, grooming, -ing -ing and more -ings… Hair products I dare not even list, because it goes on and on.

Facial hair… Eyebrows. Waxing, threading, plucking. Whichever means you prefer, we still get it done. Once a week or bi weekly. Go pass that, and you’re rocking it caterpillar style. Upper lip and other facial hair. No! We can’t have that! Those hairs are for men! We definitely take care of those. Another important regular maintenance we need done in our life.

Armpits, legs and vajajays…. More hair that needs to be trimmed, or removed, however you like. So please don’t tell me you are “simple” and not high maintenance. If you tell me that shit, I am going to assume your pubes are rough and stuff with your Afro puff. Let’s face it, our hair, everywhere….. Makes you high maintenance.

What about teeth? Assuming you are within normal human good hygienic status, brushing them grills 2-3x daily…. I’m sure we throw in some teeth whitening up in the mix. Which takes TIME. Ooh and my fave, NAILS. Finger nails, toenails, hands, and feet. We gotta love our mani and pedi times. Those have to be on our “musts” list. If you don’t have a must list, go make a phantom one in your mind. Who the hell has time to do their own manis and pedis on the regular? I don’t mean just painting your nails because thaaaat we can do on the regular unless you’re hella lazy to be cute. But we need our feet rubbed, cuticles removed, toe jams to peace out. Even if you don’t get these done on the regular *ahemGuiltyahem*, I know you still get them done a few times within a year. That my friend, is some maintenance going on.

One maintenance we should ALL be high on is exercising. I am for real when I say I am low on maintaining this. I have a gym membership, and has had one since I was a teen…. Buuuut,let’s just say I’ve been donating. LOL. I rarely go. No excuses, I just don’t. I have the Zumba DVDs, which I absolutely love. I’ll do that about once or thrice a week. Just last month I joined Yoga as a recommendation from my PCP. I must say, I simply Love it! I have been steady going 3 times a week, but I know I should be going more.

So what are some things that make you feel bonafide high maintenance? Needing to buy a new outfit for every event? How about indulging in massages? New shoes? New purses? I guess these can all be guilty as charged, but it is also part of our being a woman. We just love these things. Point blank, I know that you know your looks matter… You are high maintenance! Just shut up and accept it.

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