But You Don’t Hear Me Though

Let’s see if I can get this blog done before my husband and kids get home. That’s about 15 min. Go!

I was inspired to write this blog today, because my friend posted this on FB.

As you can see, it stirred up a little convo in her comments. I mean, my girl Lily is hot stuff, though. I’ve witnessed this bitch get jocked by not one, but a few men, all in one night. As her recent experience from guys who don’t get the ring finger idea, or didn’t care that she was married, I’ve also witnessed men who DOES know she is married. That is just rude, isn’t it? I hope Lily’s hubby doesn’t read this lol. If you do, it’s okay, Lily shrugged them off like dirt off her shoulders.

I feel herrrr, and that is why I was compelled to write this. I wish to rant about this because, UGH, GUYS THESE DAYS! Before I lost my beautiful engagement ring a few years ago (waaaahhh, thats a whole other blog waiting to happen. cry me a river, yes I did!), I understood where Lily was coming from. Not to be tooting my own horn here, but I’ve had a handful of experiences as a married woman, that a man (possibly even boys) were trying to “holla”. At the clubs, at bars, at the malls, grocery stores….. Sometimes even with my kid(s) around. What do you think I’m doing, babysitting? So back to the ever so powerful, or nowadays,
lack thereof —– RING. Like Lily, I’ve flashed my ring finger with my beautiful bling, to show the hollerer without verbalizing it, that I’m married.

I can vividly recollect that in a few of those incidents, the guys either didn’t believe me or didn’t care. Ring flash didn’t work, so my next action was to either be a bitch or flash them with the best thing ever. Photos of my family, via cellphone. Haha. Then, sometimes the guy would respectfully say something nice about my family, and excuse himself away or get moded even harder.

I do remember another time in the beginning of my marriage…. My friend lil’ Elaine and I went to a local bar in Santa Maria. As we were dancing, a couple of guys approached us to dance with. It was whatever since they weren’t trying to get nasty on the dance floor or they weren’t being hella forward with trying to holler. They were just dancing within our dancing space. The guy who was “dancing” with me, must’ve seen my ring, because he abruptly blurted out, “you’re married?” Still dancing, I nodded, yes. Then he calls on his homie friend, and they respectfully walk away. What?! I’m not out to try to meet you, or dance with you. I didn’t even know he was really trying to dance with me. LOL. Me and my girl were just trying to get our dance on. But I respect how he respected me and the situation.

Now, a few years deep without my ring, I have nothing to work with. I rarely wear my wedding band because I’m afraid of losing that too. I now have to just smile, walk away, tell them my name is Yolanda (pronounced Jolanda. No offense if your name is Yolanda. It’s my alter ego that comes with a fake accent hahahaha), and/or flash photos of my fam…. In hopes of them believing me and leaving me alone.

As flattering as it is to know that my milkshake still brings some boys to the yard, it becomes unflattering when you learn some of them lack chivalry. I feel sorry for some women who are single and still looking, but have to deal with these immature guys. Ladies, there are still some chivalrous men out there, I’m sure! Wait for those. Don’t settle for these scallywag scrubs who have cheesy ass lines to throw at you.

So fellas, please do us and yourselves a favor…. If we tell you we’re married, with ring or not, please believe or just leave it be. If a woman isn’t really married but tells you she is, take the damn hint. If you KNOW someone is married *ahemLILYahem*, then respect her, her husband, and their marriage. Don’t try to flirt, spit game, re-ask for her # (especially if you, yourself is engaged, dummy), late night texting her confessing your missing her (your bad for cheating on her, dummy)…. RESPECT. It’s a huge thing. Learn it. Apply it to yourself and your everyday doings.

I leave you with a dose of Tamia. This song reminds me of the situations I’ve mentioned in this post.


2 thoughts on “But You Don’t Hear Me Though

  1. Interested to read the story behind your lost engagement ring! I seem to lose all of my jewellery and know exactly how you feel. Although I’m far off being engaged, let alone married (!) I’ve lost rings, bracelets, necklaces that were precious to both me and my mum! Hate the feeling.

    This story was a really interesting read! I’m actually surprised to here that the guy knows the girl’s married, yet they don’t back off!

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